Women’s Spirituality and Sexuality

Now we will speak of sexuality. In sexual intercourse males experience semen loss but for the female it is different. No significant fluid loss is present. Yet in both males and females the mind extroverts to the physical object. Strong ideation is there on the person who is fulfilling the sexual passion. For males, the fluid loss also brings a psychic depletion if done excessively. The mind becomes sluggish, thinking is impaired and vital energy depleted. That is why the male should ration sexual activity. Sannyasin, sexual abstinence, can be very beneficial for building ojas or vital energy. This vital energy is essential for mental clarity, mental acuity and thus for sadhana.

Now in women this process is different. The release of the egg and the coating fluids does not deplete vital force. In women, this depletion does not occur. Pranic forces remain intact. Otherwise, she could not be the vessel for the life to grow in. Baby would not develop. So the female is not depleted in the sexual act. In fact, sexual contact, if done with proper ideation and a loving heart, can benefit a woman.

The difficulty for women is not in the depletion of vital force, but in improper ideation and dependence on an external person. A woman can be sexually awake and remain spiritually developed. A woman who is sexually suppressed, sexually undeveloped is also spiritually lacking. Vital energy in such a woman is immature and underdeveloped. This leads to mental weakness in the female. She remains a child and her spiritual development is stunted.

Traditional teachings regarding sexuality speak to the men because the power of female sexuality is feared. Women who are sexually alive, sexually mature become psychically strong, psychically powerful. That is why women have been sexually suppressed. If women are to be kept in an inferior position, they cannot be allowed sexual freedom. This does not mean to take random partners but to fully experience sexual enjoyment and sexual desire.

A woman who is sexually immature can be kept in tow. She is a child. A woman whose passion is awakened and whose heart is open in genuine love is a woman who is spiritually ripe. She is ready for surrender. She is ready to give herself to her beloved. A woman in this position is without any thought but surrender. She becomes one-pointed. If her object of ideation, her object of sexual desire, is the same as the beloved of her heart, the desire of her heart, she will open very deeply. She will surrender self. Such a selfless woman, capable of true surrender, transcends the limited ego, the limited self, and becomes united in spirit with her beloved.

Now if she sees her husband as the expression of the supreme entity, if the woman sexually surrenders in love to the supreme entity, she turns sexuality into spirituality. This is the power of woman. Male-dominated societies cannot allow this. They cannot allow such women, as they threaten masculine power. I speak candidly. Men instinctively fear this feminine strength. Women are soft but when they are sexually and spiritually mature, they are forceful. Not irritable and difficult, but self-empowered. Such a woman cannot be controlled. She cannot be kept a child. She becomes a mother in the true sense.

In this past age, women have been suppressed, enslaved. Men have taken dominion. Their powerful intellects have dominated. They have ruthlessly enslaved women and stripped them of their rights. To do this, women have had to be sexually diminished and their sexuality made immoral. They have been sexually suppressed. It was essential in order to remove their power. Now you ask if this was intentional. In the early years, it was. Men intentionally kept women sexually immature along with other restrictions. But as time passed, much knowledge was lost. Instinctively, the fear of women's sexuality remained and even was adopted by women, but the knowledge of why was forgotten. Women who are sexually immature are easily controlled.

Women have been repressed spiritually also. In early days of this age, women performed many ceremonies. They were healers and priests but as the imbalance grew, women became barred from such offices due to their sexual nature. Women became seen as unholy due to their sexuality for which they must be punished. A woman of little or no sexual maturity was seen as more spiritually acceptable and this became encouraged. These poor women were not only sexually immature; they were spiritually immature. They were stripped of both the dignity of their sexuality and the potentiality of their spirituality. It was a crime against humanity.

It is a serious issue, one that the world must now face. Sexuality in women has been suppressed, as has spirituality. In the West, women rebel and they exploit men sexually. They conceive of sexual freedom, sexual liberation, as the freedom to speak openly about sexual encounters, to reach orgasm and to have multiple partners. These sexually liberated women fool themselves. They do not understand their own sexuality. They are not truly sexually liberated. They are wounded. They search for themselves and experiment with sexuality. But rare is the woman in that society who has found her true sexual freedom. Sexual freedom for a woman does not mean multiple partners. It does not mean flattering one's ego with sexual conquest. This is, in fact, harmful. It is in opposition to a woman's true sexuality. Being able to allow sexual excitement, sexual orgasm is beneficial to a woman, but this alone is not sufficient. It does not constitute sexual maturity.

Sexual maturity in a woman means the ability to bring sexuality and spiritual development into a harmonious balance. A sexually open woman who is not emotionally wounded, who can transcend anger and open her heart in love while opening her body, such a woman becomes sexually and spiritually matured. She becomes sweet in temperament. Her power opens. It is the power of the divine mother. She is no longer a child.

Now you ask what of the sexual partner? A man of spiritual maturity and thoughtful compassion is the best partner for a woman seeking this maturity. But it is not only the temperament of the husband, it is the ideation of the wife. A woman seeking this maturity must direct all sexual thoughts, all sexual feelings to the supreme. There should be no sexual thought which is not dedicated, not seen as an offering to the supreme. Such a woman does not separate sexuality and spirituality. She becomes the wife of her Lord. She dedicates all feelings to the supreme entity. When her husband is present, he is only the manifest form of the supreme. The wife surrenders sexually and, in her heart, whole-heartedly. The more pure is her ideation, the deeper is her love. If her ideation is complete and her heart is very much open, then spiritual benefit is gotten in the sexual experience. The woman gains the capacity of true surrender. She becomes soft and filled with sweetness. Irritability drains away. She realizes her greatness.

Such a woman develops quickly in sadhana. This is why men have feared and denied feminine sexuality. It would threaten male dominance, not because women would become sexually abusive, but because sexually mature women are spiritually equal and cannot be dominated. Men of true spirituality develop sweetness also. But their path is different. Yet men of vision can comprehend the need for woman to develop, to mature. A husband with such a wife will reap great benefit. He himself will be influenced. He will also develop. It is natural that balance is created. This society has fostered imbalance and the result has been great suffering.

A woman may or may not have proper glandular development. Sexual maturity has significant influence on female development, significant. When sexual energies are open in a woman, she changes. A woman's development is negatively impacted by the suppression of sexual energy. Pranic flow is weakened. Heart remains immature. A young woman has immature glandular development. She tends to lack in self-confidence. She may be shy. She is often immature in her intellectual expression. As she matures, if she is suppressed sexually, development of glandular centers is also suppressed. She remains childlike. This is not a favourable quality. Over time, irritability develops and bitterness at having not been all she is capable of being. She becomes critical and often despondent. She snaps at husband and children. She is mentally undernourished. It is not of benefit to family or society that women be kept undeveloped. There is an adverse influence on her glandular body.

When a woman is sexually mature and knows fulfilment sexually and spiritually, she is different. The heart opens in such a woman. The whole glandular system is vitalized. She dances under the moon, singing Krishna’s name. She becomes sweet and congenial. She has a different mental attitude. The plexus surrounding the anahata chakra is positively influenced. This, in turn, influences other centers and so sweetness develops.

The vishuddha chakra gets influenced as well, and within a short time becomes stronger. Pranic flow increases in a woman who is mature. Tendencies to irritability and bitterness diminish and contentment increases. When a mature woman is also a sadhaka, meditator, the effect is stronger. The divine mother is very sweet and compassionate. The motherly quality matures. Such a woman begins to care for all living beings as her children. She becomes full of love. She embodies the great mother, the divine nectar. Her sweetness brings harmony around her. The potentiality in women is very strong but maturity is needed.

Q. Must women be sexually active to mature?

No, they need not be but women who choose not to marry, not to bear children, must still develop their internal energies. They should not remain muted sexually. But married or unmarried or sannyasin, sexuality should be directed toward the supreme entity. Love for the supreme should be cultivated, and these two forces joined. Women need not indulge in sexual acts to mature sexual energies, but candidly, the spiritual path is easier for a woman who utilizes her sexual sentiment. This does not mean random sexuality. It does not mean sexual prowess. It does not mean that sexuality alone will bring spiritual benefit. Pure ideation and a developed heart must always accompany sexuality. Sexual indulgence for mere physical enjoyment is harmful to a woman. It is exploitive and diminishes her development. A woman will not do it unless she is wounded.

By nature, a woman sees sexuality in the context of relationship and seeks surrender. She is emotionally oriented. Emotional relationships are foremost. Sexual bonds enhance her love and fulfilment in surrender. You see, a woman's mind runs in these avenues. So it is best for most women to have emotional and physical bonds. In a sadhaka, meditator, ideation in these bonds is essential.

A woman forced to be without partner, a woman emotionally abused or physically abused by an immoral man must direct these needs to Parama Purusha. They must be surrendered at the feet of her Lord, not suppressed. Suppressed emotional need and suppressed sexual sentiment in a woman leads to bitterness, irritability and despondency.