Women’s Ceremonies

A. The spiritual path for men and for women as I have said is the same. The spiritual path is generally speaking the same. The differences for men and for women lie in the physical structure and to some degree in the mental tendencies due to association of mind with matter. But every human being is both masculine and feminine. Every human being has both aspects in themselves. It is natural for human beings to want to assemble and to bring a certain development to their specific group and so it is natural for women to identify with women and men to identify with men and therefore to want to explore spirituality with a group with whom they feel some similarity.

The differences between men and women are primarily glandular and have to do with the role of women in childbearing, in raising children, and in taking primary responsibility for this core function of childbearing and child-rearing.

Women do not automatically become more introverted, more shy to speak out, less in leadership roles. All of these types of things, if noted, are cultural. Women and men are equally capable of being assertive, of being ruthless, of being compassionate, of being self-centered, of being aggressive or of being assertive. Women and men both have these capacities equally but in the main, you will find that women are better, more social, more prone to want to be surrounded by a group, more articulate sometimes but not always. They rely on speech because it is functional in rearing the child that the mother will teach the child speech so the mother must have a tendency to want to talk to the child. She cannot be a kind of quiet person who doesn't want to talk ‑ it isn't good for the children. So the women tend to be more social in this way and to be better in the emotional intelligence and social intelligence.

The men (of course all of these are generalities and any individual may find themselves any place along the variations), but in general, men are a bit less social. They excel more in the mathematical and in the abstract thinking. Now it is not to say that men cannot excel in social skills or that women cannot excel in areas of abstract thinking but in the main, you will find that more men are drawn to this more introverted and abstract world and women to the social world. There are always great exceptions to this but it is a general rule.

So if one wants to explore the mysticism of women's lives, one will not limit that exploration of mysticism to looking only to meditation practices. For a woman, all of her daily life can become divine and mystical by taking the feminine aspects of her life and incorporating them in rituals and practices that make it part and parcel of spiritual life. And so when one speaks of feminine mysticism, one speaks of the development of practices to spiritualize all aspects of a woman's life.

So there need to be practices for preparation for marriage that the lady by the other women is prepared to be the divine bride and to reveal herself as the goddess to her husband and in the child-rearing in the preparations of birth that the woman is prepared for the birthing ritual and undergoes certain sacred ceremonies involved in cleansings and purifications with incense and cleansing the body and taking the milk and honey in a certain kind of ceremony that prepares the woman, purifies her and prepares her mentally to give birth to the child.

So when the time of a women comes close, always during pregnancy there should be meditation practices, gentle exercise and walk unless of course there is some medical reason not to do this, but also the woman should get a great deal of support in the company of other women who are already mothers and can guide her in the ways of motherhood and of taking care of the children. Then when her time is coming near, then certain rituals can be there to bring a sense of mysticism to the experience of childbirth. And the woman should be prepared as when she enters the final month, she should begin certain practices to take the baths, to get the massage from the ladies on a daily basis and then when it seems the time will come soon, a blessing ceremony can be done with all the women who are already mothers to initiate the woman into motherhood. She can be in the ceremony.

There are many different rituals that can be done but ceremonies involving I would suggest the warm bath and the scents of rosewater in the bath and then coming out, getting massage by all of the women, preparing that the labor goes smoothly and the meditation together, some rituals of the taking warm milk and the honey to increase the flow of milk from the breasts, and to prepare the woman with flowers and with good scents and with braiding the hair and this nice warm sweet sattvic food for her until she is in such a state of feeling so much love and blessing and then meditation and all giving vital energy to the baby perhaps in the healing form, this type of ceremony for two three hours just before the lady is to go into that time when she will take the, is fully prepared for the birth. This will bring very nice mental state and the women should then continue in meditation always seeing her son or daughter healthy and happy. Then there are practices during the labor to take the breath in a way to reduce the pain and the company of women and of the husband at that time can be very good. That is only one example.

Q. Baba, may I ask?

A. Yes.

Q. If the lady is going to give birth in a hospital should this be done at home or in the hospital?

A. At home if possible. But if the birth center or hospital center, it can be done also but it is generally done before the labor begins, just prior. There should be some preparation ceremony and, of course, you cannot tell when the baby will come so still there may week or two remaining but she feels that all the women of her community are with her and all the mothers have trained her and taken the time to show her how to care for the baby, what to do, so on and so forth. The young mother should be guided and on the physical plane to the care of the baby, to the process of birth, but then the birth experience should be explored as a mystical experience, a time to touch the worlds, a time to touch the opening between worlds, a time where direct contact with spiritual existence is there. It is a sacred time. Death is a sacred time. Birth is a sacred time. Both entail the touching of the veil, the opening of the veil between worlds, isn't it?

Q. Yes.

A. They are very similar times. So the preparation for that time should be there, the acknowledgement of the mystical journey that is there will be able to open the veil and bring forward the spirit into life and the communion of spirit, the spiritual vital force is very high before birth if properly cultivated.

Then the nursing mother will require also the care of others and the community of mothers is very, very important that the women not be isolated while rearing the children. All of these things are a part of feminine mysticism, for it is the mystical path of womanhood. And one may walk down this path without any sense of mysticism or one may see it as a great a mystical exploration of the feminine aspects of manifestation. And that mystical aspect can be enhanced by the community of women and their approach so that all the moon cycle of the women, the blessings of the divine Goddess, to take a sacred time in the moon cycle, the full moon meditations and full moon practices all worship the divine feminine. All bring the sense of feminine mysticism so this sense of feminine mysticism is not limited to just a certain practice. It is an exploration of the journey of women as spiritual beings in this world.

So this journey in a female body may become one that is mystical from the girl receiving her first menses and realizing the potential of life therein to the woman experiencing pregnancy and all of the changes that occur. This can be frightening if they are not guided. But with the older women around who have experience to guide and making it one where there are special rituals where there is meditation and it is seen as a mystical journey towards spirit, this then becomes an adventure, a mystical adventure, not a frightening changes of one's body.

Also, to be prepared to meet one's husband is also a mystical adventure that can be in the company of women. There is one woman though she is living with a man, at this retreat she will have her spiritual marriage. I would suggest in the evening that is coming forward that some rituals be done to prepare her for that marriage, all right?

So you should talk with Ac. K and some planning some go to tomorrow night, all right?

Q. Would you like to give some suggestions for this?

A. Well, there is a marriage coming forward, a spiritual marriage, the woman should be put in the center of the circle, some flowers put around and some poetry can be read, some incantation done, some chanting of songs to the divine feminine and flower petals put on her and she can be given the blessings of all the women and each woman will say some blessing for her, some nice ceremony, that she will become the wife, even though she has really been functioning as wife already, so it is much more effective if the lady has not already been functioning as wife but in today's world it can be as it is.

Some nice ceremony and some dance, however you like to make, but there should be an acknowledgement of a passage and that it is a spiritual passage blessed by the women of the community, all right? So you should talk to Ac. K. Tell her that I have suggested that this woman she should be properly prepared for her marriage.

Q. The night before?

A. It is best the night before but there is another program; I do not know if it can be changed. If it can be changed, it is best the night before.

Q. Do you have suggestions for how to celebrate the first menses for a girl?

A. For the girl, yes, yes. For the young one it can be seen as a fearful event if they have not been prepared. So first of all, mother and ladies of the house must prepare the girl. She must understand that this is the gift of life and part of her feminine power. She must not see it as weakness, as a weak time of the month, but as an expression of her feminine strength. So preparing the mind in the right way and then the anticipation that when it happens then she will be crossing the barrier to womanhood. Then, when that happens, in the full moon light; if it is cold it must be done perhaps inside; but in the full moon light, the women meet with the girl and a ceremony is done, some sort of ritual of transition with some feminine chants and some mystical experiences and only girls who have already received their period can come to the ceremony. Those who have not cannot come.

So the girls who are the friends who have already had their cycle, they may come to the ceremony of women and then on the full moon night, a ritual be done, preferably in the full moon but if not possible, with the candlelight and the nature of the ceremony could vary but the important point is there is acknowledgement of the transition and chants to the divine Goddess and the Divine Mother are always there and the girl is welcomed into the company and association of women. She has now gained status. And so it is a secret ceremony to welcome her into the company of women and women can be girls and mothers and single women can also come. But no girl who has not received her first cycle can come. So this should happen as soon as the first cycle appears, the first full moon to follow.

Q. Thank you. About this ceremony for the wedding, all women?

A. All women are welcome, even the little girls can come.

Q. How would we celebrate the women who are having their menopause? We are doing some rituals?

A. So this is another cycle, yes.

Q. Yes. Also when they reach forty then we have this, mature age and menopause as a celebration and then when they reach sixty it is called wise woman celebration.

A. I do not know about these things but at the time of menses beginning, at the time before the child is born, at the time of taking the breast milk, with the breast milk there can also be some ritual, and at the times of marriage and the time when the cycle ends, then again there is the celebration of the maturation. The woman is letting go of her duty to bear the children and in this way she takes on herself a new duty.

So this is a most powerful transition because there should be some symbolic representation in the community of women that she is discarding her duty as mother and householder in this way and though she is yet the mother of her children and she will always love her children, she will bear no more children in the world, and she takes the duty of broader sense of mother, a mother of all, so when she enters into this stage that the life is fully matured, the cycles have been completed and she enters into the mature stage of life where she then her life is dedicated to the divine mother, to the divine father, to the divine being and from that point forward her mission in life is to bring the welfare of all living beings.

She has done her duty to her family and now she takes the mantle of allegiance with divine purpose and embodies the archetype of the wise woman who is one who has compassion, care for all beings and attains to wisdom and liberation.

So each phase of life has its own special aspect and if one is to explore feminine mysticism one will have to explore all of these phases. One will have to make the journey through the life of a woman, a mystical adventure, a maturation from girl to the strength of virginity to the wife to the mother and finally to the wise woman.

All of this brings a woman through the cycles with rich mystical understanding. The life is not painful and boring, it is a mystical adventure.

Q. There are also many losses in women's life, could they be acknowledged also?

A. Yes, yes, definitely, there is a place for that also. Loss comes to all, both men and women and there must be a place in the lives of people for it.

It is not particular to women and so I do not categorize it under feminine mysticism, but indeed there should be something for this.

For women, though, these particular periods are unique to her physiology. That is why the spiritualizing of these transitions, the acknowledgement and the holding of understanding of these aspects of a woman's life in a spiritual context form the basis of feminine mysticism.

Brahma sadhana is for all and is the foundation also of feminine mysticism but these parts of a woman's life should be shared with other women, initiated into by other women. The society of woman is very weak in much of the world today and that is a downfall of modern society. The women are so busy trying to be men that they have failed to see the value of the rituals that protected them as women and the companionship of women is not there and so the women are on their own. It should not be like this.

There must be a society of women for women to turn to in these hours of need. Otherwise, to face the changes of pregnancy, to face even the coming of one's first menses, to face the child-rearing alone without the companionship of others, it is too difficult, the woman will become despondent and there is so much talk about this post-partum depression, but I tell you, a woman surrounded by other women in good companionship will not have or it will be most rare this postpartum depression. But when women are isolated and do not have this company of women and do not have a proper support system, they are prone to depression and as they are raising their children they will many times feel very isolated but if they have so much companionship of women, they will not experience this isolation.

But in today's world where the families have gone willy-nilly here and there and the mothers and grandmothers are not there and the sisters are not there then what happens when the women do not have maybe one friend where they can go once a week to visit maybe if they are fortunate and they are isolated. And the husband is gone to work and they are there with the little baby, they become depressed. They are lonely and they do not have anyone to show them how to properly care for the child. It is not healthy for mother or for child. So, even if the family, even if the physical relatives cannot be present, the woman should at least seek the samgha of other mothers. There should be something for them.

Then these spiritual societies incorporating communities of women to support each other through all of these different cycles, this is important to start. That these communities of women, circles of women together to support each other as women, to go through the different stages and cycles, this is important. I would suggest the beginning of these cycles of women all over the world, all right?