Children

July 1992

Anything to say about raising children?

     Yes I have some words.  Children are without rational development.  When they are young they do not rely on rationality.  They are dependent on adults for this function.  They are relying instead upon their innate intelligence and instincts for survival. 

     Their  minds are simple and basic. When the mind of a human being is at this stage it can be  greatly influenced both negatively and positively. Therefore whenever possible positive influence must be sought by parents. Whenever possible negative influence, negative situations should be avoided.  In this way a parent can have some influence over the course of the child's life. But samskaric patterns cannot be suppressed. Try as you might they will surface, they must surface or else they cannot be exhausted. But a parent can do much to help a child to develop neohumanistic attitudes and compassion for living beings. A parent can also encourage spiritual notions, love for the Supreme and sadhana. But a parent cannot control the response of a particular child.  A parent cannot live the life of the child. It is his own and he must make the best of it, both for the good and the difficult aspects.  Events cannot be entirely forestalled by parental love.  This each parent must know.

     Child can be guided and shown the way of spiritual life and the path of Dharma, but the choice to follow is their own. Never force a child as the reactive momentum of the mind will surely secure as equal and opposite force.  Yes, yes a child can be encouraged, opportunity provided, and proper satsaunga.  Then good results will be had. The friendship of other children raised with spiritual ideals will be fruitful. No tamasic or rajasic foods should be taken in the early years.  A pure diet before age of five mostly of fruits, dairy, with some small amount of grains, vegetables and nuts. A pure diet before this age will help the developing mind to maintain a more satvic flow. Also environment should be peaceful and relaxed with loving family and playmates. Young children should not be given hard tasks or responsibilities. They must be allowed to play freely and enjoy under loving guidance of their mother of other caring adults.  They should not be forced to be alone or abandoned by parents. All manor of strain and trauma must be reduced whenever possible. Then young mind will grow freely and happily. At school age if possible child must be educated in a progressive fashion utilizing neohumanistic ideals.                     The learning environment should not only develop the intellect but also the intuitional mind.  A spiritual ideal should be inculcated from a young age forward.  Remember a child's mind is not as an adults.  Do not expect or pressure, but love and encourage as well as discipline.  Strict rules if lovingly applied are not harmful.  But if they are harsh and demanding, pressuring the young mind, then detriment will be there.

     Punishment should not be given to a child before the age of five years.  If a small one does a wrong act, in a loving way redirect them.  If they will not come round, ignore them and they will be sure to come round.  Tempt them with sweet words, do not punish before the fifth year. At this age reason is a bit more so some enforcement of discipline can begin, but still means should be mild. Mainly child must be encouraged by loving words and tempting notions. Harsh words and strict discipline should not be used until later years and then only when necessary. Too much punishment leads to and angry and harsh personality. But all children require discipline. Firm rules and a disciplined life combined with loving parents and play makes for maximum positive development. Good company, neohumanistic ideals and educational atmosphere as well as a spiritual ideal and sadhana will bring maximum development.