Men's Role in Marriage

February 13 1992

     Q: What is the male role in marriage, Ba'ba'?

     A man in a spiritual marriage is the embodiment of Lord. In the eyes of a spiritually-inclined wife, she may view him as the manifest expression of the Supreme Entity. Now for an ordinary man, this is a great task to be this Supreme representative. What to do? How can an ordinary man meet such an ideal? The way is simple. He must take his guru mantra in all actions. He should also ideate that, with his wife, he is embodying the loving compassion of Lord. He must immerse himself in this sentiment. Taking this ideation, he should look upon his wife as the feminine aspect of the Supreme. 'Oh Lord, you have embodied as this woman to give me opportunity to love and to serve you. I will look to your service and happiness at all times.' Keeping this ideal fixed in his mind, husband will gain qualities of superior nature. He will become more and more over time the very noble expression of the Supreme so that wife need not ideate, but will simply feel that my husband is the very expression of Lord. Lord's qualities are being expressed through husband. I am in the shelter of my Lord. Wife will come to this in due time if such sentiments are strictly kept. Husband will begin to see in himself the qualities of his Lord.  He will find that he is steadfast, loyal to his word and compassionate. Such a man is sweet in temperament and holds utmost respect for his wife. He becomes the embodiment of the Supreme.  In his mind, the care of his wife and his family is a sweet and noble duty of love. He is the servant of his wife. Her needs, her feelings are his charge. He takes his duty to her as a service to the Supreme. He many find that the worship of Mother becomes very pleasing.

     So in spiritual marriage, husband is both Lord of his wife and servant of his wife.  Hum, do you see? A man having such a relationship will find a sense of his own worth. His manly qualities will be enhanced in a very nice way.  His all around development will be speeded and his sense of identification with the Supreme enhanced. So in this way, a marriage with a spiritual base can greatly benefit a man's psycho-spiritual upliftment as well as a woman's.  Marriage is not to be shunned.  Sanyasin path has merit, but so does family path.