nn 1,2

1.1.2 devotional, 1.4.8 spir. in practice

Q: How can I mature spiritually and become closer to You? How can I really feel great passion for You?

"True devotion is built on three factors. These factors are true yearning, service to living beings and divine compassion.

"Now to achieve real devotion, devotion that is genuine and can be felt in the heart, devotion which gives everything to the Beloved, is not so easy for living beings. Mind must loose its attraction for name and fame, for achievement, for all manner of lesser pleasures. This does not happen automatically. A spiritual ideal, a spiritual ideation must first be taken by the mind for some time. Slowly over an extended period, mind will gradually reorient is values. It will begin to think, 'Although I enjoy these pleasures and achievements, still there is a pain I cannot stop. I long for the Supreme Entity to take me in His arms and enfold me in lasting love.' So there becomes a tear between old ways and internal yearning. This is a very good sign in a sadhaka. After some time, this yearning becomes very strong. It begins to dominate the mind and the heart. A pain develops and a passion for the Supreme. No amount of worldly enjoyment or achievement can fulfill the heart when this stage comes. The sadhaka may become moody. They may even become irritable and difficult to be near. A sadhaka in this phase says, 'Oh Lord, I have devoted my self to You, I don't want anything else. I only want You, but I cannot feel You. I am restless with this life of mine and nothing quenches my thirst.'

"At this stage Lord will say, 'Oh my sadhaka, I am pleased with your development. Now if you are wanting Me, there is one thing you must do. You must dedicate yourself tirelessly to the upliftment of others. Make every action an act of devotion. Make every thought an offering of love to your Supreme Father. Forget the past. Go forward in dedicated service to living beings and the second ingredient will be present.

"Now there is a third ingredient also in this formula, this recipe for devotion. That ingredient the devotee cannot provide. It is the loving affection, the Divine assistance for that Supreme Entity. This assistance can be felt when the umbrella of the ego collapses. The egoistic sense of self-importance, self-involvement acts as the umbrella to keep away the shower of Divine Grace. This self-importance of the little 'I' is based on the fake notion of doership. Little 'I' thinks, 'I am the one who has achieved this or that, and I am the one who suffers this or that.' This little 'I' is so inflated, it thinks, 'I am pursuing Parama Purus'a.' It is all the fault of this little 'I', this small 'I', this tiny 'I' which believes it is so important to have done all of this. It cannot see it is but a grain, but a molecule in the body of the Supreme. This difficulty is the true source of your suffering. Now what is solution to this knotty problem, the 'I' problem?

"Remove the umbrella of ego through tireless service to other beings and through ideation on the Supreme. Be humble. You are the daughter of the Supreme. You are part of the Supreme. You are intimately associated with your Beloved Guru, your Supreme Father. Never think otherwise. Never let the umbrella of ego fool you to think you are an isolated entity. It is not the case. 'I' am doing this and that. 'I' am my own. No, no, you are Mine. You are part of Me. You are interwoven with every living being. Remember it. Remember it daily. Keep it central in your thoughts. Then this umbrella will begin to collapse and you will find a deep sense of connection, a deep and pure river of love is already existing. You will find you are being moved down this river. Not by your own force, but by the strength of the Great River of Divine Expression. Let this little 'I' lose self-importance and the larger flow be seen as the controller of your existence."